Dead x

I still keep thinking of you,

of us.

Not in the mood in doing anything

I just feel like staying at home

But at the same time

It makes me overthink.

Supposed to be going out today

But I was really not in mood

Since I woke up

The last text I received from you

was late evening

And I guess you won't bother

To text back anymore

You aren't that someone 

Who makes effort in keeping the convo

anymore. 

Stopped myself from finding you first

Yes. I failed. Again.

Texted you first

You said you're tired

And there goes the long night

Everything seems to be different 

Without you. 

Can you come back?

當傷心到了盡頭 會變成死心 :)

5 years later

It's 2017. 

Can't believe I'm back to blogging again

Dilemma whether to open a new blog or

Continue with this old one 

And yeah I'm here cause
I'm not sure how long I'll keep blogging
(Perhaps I'll get bored tomorrow HAHA)
So there's no point making a new one :)

I still remember blogging used to be a trend
That's why I started this blog
Then blogging became too mainstream
And I felt like it's for the attention seekers (those days)
So I stopped blogging.
Never expect to find my old blog again
Cause I'm someone who never remember my passwords
If I don't write em down
So this blog is quite a miracle?

I'm writing this for you :)
I always wanted to tell you how I feel
But I could never express them to you face to face
And you're no longer in the only place
I used to express myself (twitter) anymore
I'm not sure if you're going to see this
Cause I'm not gonna share this to everyone
Neither gonna tell you directly that I'm blogging
But I really hope you would see this.

It's just the first month of 2017.
But I guess it's really a bad start for me.
You're no longer mine.
We opened up to each other.
I promised not to have any hard feelings
and you told me everything honestly
Sorry. I broke my promise.
My heart were torn into pieces
while listening to every single word you said
about you and her.
I actually have so much to ask.
But I ended up keeping quiet
cause the more I get to know
I know I'll suffer even more.
I really thought I was about to die
Cause I could really feel my heart.
I hated how all these happened
Things won't happen if she didn't treat you the same
but I know I don't have the rights to blame.
我一直坚信日久生情
People easily fall for someone who's there all the time
especially when you're all alone
I could not believe everything you said
How fast everything happened
When we were still in contact
After we met each other
When I thought we still belong to each other
And I realised it's only my own thoughts.
一切都只是我一厢情愿

You've changed.
You're no longer the one I used to know.
You're no longer mine.
Your heart belongs to someone else.

I'm not sure what's gonna happen to us.
But I remember telling myself
we're not getting back together
the moment I saw her name in your twitter.
You wouldn't fall for another person
if you still love me.
Just like how all typical dramas go
You'll end up with the same person
if he/she is the right one.
I'm not sure if I could handle
you being in relationship with others
and come back to me again.

We're from two exactly different world.
I guess no one (even both of us) expected us together.
I remember you and your friends used to ask me
Why would I pick to be with you
I guess I couldn't answer this till now.
You gave me something everyone else's could not.
That feeling with you is real.
I love how you treated me like a princess
How I could just be myself
only with happiness and no worries.
I love how you always say I act like a kid
I was always happy when I'm with you.
I still hope you're mine.

Leaving you again for the second time.
and I'm not sure if it'll be the last.
Cause I might not be coming back anymore till next year
and you'll be leaving too.
Perhaps it's a chance for me to put everything down.
It's always been hard for me.
I really hate farewells.
I wish I could stay with you forever.
Everything reminds me of you.

I couldn't afford to take in anymore heart breaks.
I'm afraid to change too.
But that's the only way
to keep myself from getting hurt again.
Love relationships are bullshits.
Nothing stays forever.
and that's the only thing I believe in now.

这一次我真的彻底的受伤了
我的心很累
我不会再相信
永远的承诺都是骗人的

그 동안 네가 있으나까
내가 행복했다.
사랑해 줘서 고맙고
아직 사랑한다.

Second post of the day :) 

Hahaha since I think I'm not gonna update it , 

for a very long time againnnn :b 

Hmm so . 

I viewed back my blog posts . 

and realized that 

I was really emotional ,

 this year .

Why ? 

I don't know too . 

Maybe one of the reason is 

I can't live happily without them . 

I hope things will really change . 

Or get better next year . 

I wanna have a great time before I graduate :')

JiaYou :)

Time flies .

So I'm back after the holidays :) 

Seriously still having holiday mood now. 

That's why I'm here to update my blog HEHE :b 

^ it's just an excuse -.- ^

Hmm so Hari Raya is over . 

Sisters gonna be back at 6.45pm , as usual .

First day of school . Still okay for me :) 

Erm oh yeah . I was thinking if I should 

delete this blog or not :) 

Since i'm writing everything on twitter 

and 

I decided to open a Diary soon !

Yiheng asked if I'm having a crush -.- 

Lol she said because of my tweets . 

Hahahaha okay . 

so I should stop writing stupid tweets :b

September is coming :) 

I wanna enjoy my life like last time . 

I don't wanna be emo . 

I just wanna be happy :D

Hmm just viewed someone's blog . 

Which I think that person don't even know about it . 

And she's not even a close friend of mine .__. 

She's gonna be shocked if I tell her that I stalked her blog . 

And even knew who she liked ! 

AHAHAHA . 

I really feel so successful when I proved my hypothesis ;) 

Anywayy , her blog . 

not considered as awesome but 

her contents were so alike mine (: 

I mean last time :p when I was in F2 . 

Sighhh form 2 life . 

Miserable and immature ! 

Hahahahahaha that's all I can say :) 

Dear owner of that blog :p , 

I guess it's normal to have this kind of feelings :) 

I believe you can go through all that soon . 

Maybe you won't believe me now , 

but later , you'll know how true is my sentence now :) 

 Because I went through all this before . 

Hahahhaa sounded so expert *erkhem 

Perhaps fate will bring you here . 

Or maybe not . 

If you see this , it's fate . 

If not , who cares ? :p 

If we know each other , 

I think we'll be super good friends .

But too bad , you're not my junior :) 

Trust in yourself . 

Yeahhhh I'm back . 

Lol super duper long didn't update blog . 

Because I have a twitter account already ! 

HOHO . That's why . 

Lazyyy to update my blog now :( 

Sorrryyyyyyy .

Everytime I hold my phone , 

I will go and check twitter . 

Line , facebook , whatsapp , message . 

Sighhhh , then my dad will be there nagging again . 

Yao lei sms ! ;@ 

Don't wanna argue , just admit :) 

Holidays :) 

One week passed . So fast . 

And I did nothing :O 

Next week , 

sighhh idk what will happen . 

Maybe I'll be doing nothing the whole week , 

again :/ 

Why ?

Why am I always so near you ?

I'm scared .

But I kinda like it :$ 

Hahahahaha noob -.- 

 

Braces-off ! :)

Waited for two years and finally the day has arrived ! 

went to the dentist and took my braces off .

Great . Now I have shiny teeth ! 

Yay Hahahahahaha . 

Hmm although it may be painful sometimes ,

 during these two years of 'surgery' :p 

And I always can't wait to take it off . 

However , I feel so weird without something 

sticking on my teeth , 

I kindda miss it now .

Yeah , if I become a millionaire in the future , 

I may think of putting on the braces again ;D 

Hmm , no more braces . 

Exam's finishing , holidays coming . 

After holiday , new life begins :) 

                                Dear Life ,

Please treat me well

if I treat you well too kay :)